British mecaphile Edward Smith faces the risk of being put on the sex offenders register after coming out to reveal that he has a regularly has sexual intercourse with machines like motorcars and helicopters.
Claiming he lost his virginity to a Volkswagen Beetle, Mr Smith, 63, has had sex with 700 cars as well as helicopters and planes. He regularly has sex with vehicles in car parks and showrooms after losing his virginity to a neighbour's Volkswagen Beetle at the age of 14 and has now has fallen in love with another Beetle he calls Vanilla
Calling Vanilla his girlfriend, Mr Smith said they get intimate on his private property, adding that he would be devastated if he ever crashed the car. Boasting that he has bedded Jaguars, Mustangs, had threesomes in car parks and car showrooms and has even had brief flings with helicopters and planes, Mr Smith said he started out by looking at car magazines in the same way some men devour pornography.Mr Smith said: "I got tempted one night to step outside to gently caress the car. It did something for me, woke something up inside of me.
"I look back at that thinking that was really risky business. That’s the history, yes, in fact, I cannot deny that there were a number of neighbourhood car lots I would go over to visit."
Pointing out that he did have human girlfriends in secondary school and university and one who he met as a grown adult living in San Francisco in 1971, Mr Smith said he was never able to consummate these relationships. He added that to have sex with a car, he holds the body of the car, strokes and caresses it and then pleasures himself.
Now, he says his white Volkswagen Vanilla is his girlfriend and the love of his life. They met when Mr Smith was involved in a relationship with another Volkswagen Beetle called Victoria.
"She certainly has become special. I got her in 1982 so it will be 30 years on December 23rd.
"I first met her, before I got her, when I lived here In Yelm, they had the local Jehovah’s witness church driver around in a white Beetle handing out literature. There was something about that white ’74 beetle when they pulled up to hand out their literature, that while they were talking, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her," Mr Smith said.
Years later, he saw an advert for a similar white beetle available to buy and when he went to the dealership he was shocked to find it had the same car. He now greets Vanilla every morning. They get intimate on his own private property but he is mindful not to be seen in public.
Mr Smith also is involved with a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon and a 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger, but Vanilla is very forgiving and does not get jealous. He added that although he says he understands that cars are not conscious beings, he feels strongly about them and truly believes they are in a long-term relationship.
Mr Smith is the only one who is allowed to wash his cars, which is like giving them a bath, adding that he likes to talk to them, play music and sud them all up while washing them. He pointed out that his fear of crashing them means he drives extremely carefully, almost to the point of paranoia.
culled
MADNESS!!!
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