Sunday, 5 October 2014

HOW TO SURVIVE IN NIGERIA. BY Afikpo Chic

BCEL - Afikpo Chic.

This piece has been on my mind for a while now. It is a very necessary as it can save so many people a lot of headache. If you are living abroad but have been dreaming of relocating back here this is a must read.

I went to America at the age of 18 years old and lived there for over 15 years. That is where I got my 1st job, my 1st million dollars, my 1st major headache, my 1st heartbreak, my 1st legal issue, my 1st this and that. Meaning that venturing back to Nigeria to assimilate and do any fruitful thing to make a living would mean I have learn the style things are done here so I can easily fit in and go in for the kill.

There are 4 things that matter most in making it here in Nigeria. CONTACT, HUMILITY, PATIENCE & TALENT. The 4 work in pari passu. None can do without the other.

1, CONTACT: No matter how talented you are, if someone does not take you to those that will give value to your talent, nnaa SORRY o. This nation is about contact. Once you are talented at whatever field/s you are in, finding those who will take you to someone who will need your talent becomes very easy. There are people who do quite well connecting talents to those who will require their services, these people will usually require you pay them some money afterwards, once the connection starts using your service, please do not panic, pay up, as it is worth it. When I landed in Abuja to start running my outfits from here, someone took me straight to my 1st contact, I was hired for the job that same day and later that month I had to cough out mega bucks to introducer. I did not even know that I had to to pay for it, when he asked for the money, i did not argue or even haggle. I just paid up. Then there are those who are in awe with your talent and would gladly take you to those that will utilize them, they will not ask for any money, it will be their pleasure to do that, as they are doing it to help out the contact, while also helping the talent. This is mostly the types that take me to potential clients now. These types are usually high-profile too, and each time they take you to a contact, you will likely be hired for the job instantly without much talku-talku, 21 question and dilly dallying.

I have quite a few contacts now and do take talents to them and of course I do not take a penny off them for that. It is always my utmost pleasure to bring a talent to a contact. It is a win-win situation for everyone involved and I feel really good knowing I was part of what made the partnership possible.

Some times you can make a killing when you facilitate certain contacts. For instance if you take a very big company to your client who is a position to really utilize their services the company is looking for in a national way, which can make your own client millions and sometimes billions, there is no way they will not give you a percentage. Just no way. You will surely get a cut of that money effortlessly. In such cases even 1 percent will spell Tens of millions of mula.

Bottom line is this, in Nigeria, contact is everything, it should not matter who takes you to your contacts, pay for it if you have it to, just get to them because if the right people do not know you exist, you might be thirsty in the midst of a river which your talent is.

VERY IMPORTANT: When you now become one of those that can take people to contacts, please be very very very careful whom you introduce to others. No sentiments. Your reputation is on the line for everyone you take to any contact. If the talent is good in all ramifications, you get the glory, but if they are bad, your credibility quotient will go down a nudge. So do not dare do sentiment when it comes to intros. Only take talents you can vouch for their talent and overall goodness as a human being to anyone. IF NOT, your name is sorry.

DON'T CHOP ALONE: Some people are so greedy that they forget that the million million naira they have today because of the contact someone gave them, that they did not have it yesterday. When someone gives you a contact where you were paid even 1 million naira, make sure you give that person some cash no matter how small even if they are saying they do not want anything and mean it. And do not start telling stories of how the money can barly do the job you were being paid. That na greedy man story. Give something to that person that connected the job to you. Even if the person says no, still find a way to give something to them.

Someone connected me to a job that paid me 11 millon naira of which a couple of  millions would be my own profit. The man said no to taking anything from me. But you know what I did? I put 100k each on his 3 phone networks via VTU. And then when he had an occasion I used that opportunity to buy him a super-correct gift. There are many ways many ways you can give to a person gave you a fruitful contact even if they say no to being given something.

A BIG DON'T: No matter what, do not forget those who took you to a fruitful contact. Even when they provoke you, overlook it and still relate with them. Never forget they are part of the total sum of the goodies in your life. Do not pretend otherwise. Be grateful, do not be an ingrate. Do not pretend you never needed them. That you can do better, or that you could have met those contacts with or without them. Remember that 1 fruitful contact is better than 200 fruitless contacts which you might have. So be grateful to that person who gave you a fruitful contact.

NEVER EVER EVER talk bad about those that introduced you to your contact to them. NEVER. It goes against the tenets of every thing decent. No matter the situation, do not try it. Do not paint such person in a bad light to the contact they brought to you. You will end up looking very bad to them and you will actually be put under watch.

NOTE: There are talents that will forget you exist the second they get the 1st millions from the contact you took to, don't take it to heart. Always remember that the person who broke his plate when he was full, will surely want to eat again but won't have any plate to put the food. As Americans would say, THERE IS MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. They will miss out on other things you would have had in stock for them. So allow them to go and do their things.

There are also situations where you bring in a talent to your client to work in synergy with you, due to their excessive greed or whatever their reason is, they will now start doing their thing and going off-course, and when you try to explain why something they are doing is not in tandem with the goal you have in mind for your client, they will now start talking to you like you are an idiot. Making you look stupid & disheveled. To even complain about them makes you look even stupider because you are the one that brought them. In that case SILENCE should be the watch word. And NEVER EVER say anything negative about them to your client as whatever you say about them will simply ricochets back to you. After all you brought them in.

2, HUMILITY: HUMILITY HUMILITY HUMILITY. Be it, natural it, or learn it, whatever the case is, just wear it like a badge of honor. It is the 2nd most important factor in surviving here. Make I just tell you this; if you were not born with any element of humility, you better just learn it because you will need it here. Fortunately for me, humility comes natural to me, so na me fit Nigeria, anyhow they want that humility I will give them overdose of it. Prominent Nigerians no send you any message at all. No matter who you are, if you want something, you better cool down for Jesus, humble yourself well well, if not, na you sabi because no one cares as you will find out soonest. You say your name is Afikpo Chic, ehee? And? You are this you are that? EHEEEE? What?? And?? You lived abroad for kini years. And? OKAY??? WHAAA??? You have seen money, you have seen millions of dollars. Okay?? Next? And?? Whaaaaaa??? Ohoooo oo!!!

Bia, make I gist you. All the millions of dollar you have seen, lived big with, bought this and that, built this and that, is what some of the people you want something from here loots or make in one damn day. SO HELLO?????? You dig? Good. So please pack your pride and ego in one tight corner when you are looking for something here. And get this, they look down on those who even live abroad. They feel you are suffering if you live abroad. Like you are in bondage. Their idea of really living well is visiting abroad for a few days and coming back to Nigeria to continue their thing. Please humble yourself well well even in the face of outright humiliating antics. It is not written in your face that you were insulted somewhere. Keep your eyes on the ball, keep your eyes on the big picture, keep your eyes on your goal. That is what matters, that is what counts. Don't let your ego rob you of a great future. Bear whatever is thrown at you please. NO ONE IS ABOVE BEING INSULTED. OR HUMILIATED. NO ONE. Even those you are going to, no matter how big they are also have those that humiliate them once in while and they bear it. So please bear it. Keep your eyes on the balls.

DISPOSITION: And when you are finally hired; bear this in mind, when your boss/client mistreats you, he/she is aware that he is doing just that. Do not change your countenance, keep your face in neutral. That is what they watch out for, the manner you react to things is everything to them, this is how they judge you and this is how they determine where you fit into in their life. Here, your oga can even lie against you to your face. When that happens do not panic, please if you can, simply say you are sorry. When they are lying against you they know so do not worry yourself and do not huff and puff, just stay calm. After-all if you actually did what you are being accused of you won't even be allowed near the gate. You will get a quit notice via phone.

BE ASSERTIVE: Once in a while you have to be assertive. Hear this; A false story was circulating around about a very prominent client of mine. I knew the allegation was a blatant falsie because I was with him the day they claimed he did what was alleged, and know for a fact it is not true. I alerted his aides and let them know this was a great PR disaster in the making. In fact that day I was just going mad. They put up a denial, but it was too weak for the damage that has already been done. I then sent an SOS txt to my client, he called me back promptly and I started raving and going crazy, telling him that the that the only thing that will do is if he threatens to sue the newspaper that started the falsto, he then called me a SYCOPHANT. I was not having it, I said no sir I am not a sycophant. I am the one that is working around the clock to build up your image and will also be the one that will suffer any major damage on your image. You want results and if you do not get those results due to a damage such as this, I am the failure here. I am not crying more than the bereaved, I am the bereaved. He then said okay okay, it will be done and a few hours later his aides put out a very strongly worded write-up warning the newspaper that 1st printed it that if they do not retract the false allegations, they will be sued. I do my job very diligently, I work for my clients like they are watching me 24/7. I believe that anything that is worth doing is worth doing well. Bottom line, know when to assert yourself, don't allow everything to slide. But only do this with righteous indignation. You must know what you are talking about, and you must be very right before you can righteously challenge your boss. So that if there is any fall out you can deal with it, with your head held very very high.

PATIENCE: This is the money word. If you do not have patience in Nigeria, just kiss any kind of good life here goodbye. It can take you up to a year here to actually see a contact. And when you finally see that contact, it might take another 2 months for him to actually sit with you properly and attend to you. You must be patient always with them. Always. It is worth it in the end. If you vex, they will not miss your talent as they actually do not even know what you are offering them yet. So you must patiently wait to unleash your talent on them, your talent will now do the talking for you and they will now be the ones calling you. Before you know it, you become one of those needed by the great man that have been eluding you. SO PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE PLEASE.

This is what I do, wherever I GO I go with my PA and my laptop, that way if I have to wait for 8 hours, it will the same thing as being in my home office. As I will be working away while waiting for someone.

TIP: If you have done all you can, played your role well, humble, patience, persevere and have shown them what you can do but still nothing nothing, simple send this text "Hello sir, Please don't hesitate to contact me whenever you need me. Have a great day, thanks." Within 5 minutes you will get call or text directing you on what to do next. This never ever fails for me. But before you can qualify to send this type of message to a contact, you must have really done all I wrote above.

4, TALENT: Talent is 4th on the list but it is not the least. But it is 4th because of the clime we live in. If you do not possess the 3 above, no one will even know your talent exist and won't care. Talent is what will do your most talking, fight your battles, win you affections and make you highly relevant to those who need it. With talent, you can enter where the child of Dangote will not even allowed in. Talent is all about creativity. Whatever you do, no matter how mundane, you turn it into something special and do it uniquely well, so well that you will even amaze yourself and have everyone impressed. Even sadists appreciate talents. Everyone loves people with talents, specially uncommon talents. I am talent connoisseur, if I see anyone that does something very well, once I am impressed at their abilities, I will not only hire them if necessary but I will go further and fund their education so that their talent can be more enhanced.

It is only talent that can sustain your relationship with your clients. No sentiment. Nobody spits out sugar. If you give a client what they love, you are in. Simple. Your duties will keep expanding.

AMERICA: If you have lived in America for even 5 years and you do not have a special talent that only you know how to do very well, sorry is your name. You have no excuses. You should be able to survive anywhere, any clime, any nation. Because America teaches you the good, the bad, and the ugly of life. You should be able the create things with what they taught you. America is ALL IN ONE. Buy one get one free. You suppose know warrup after spending at least 5 years there.

For me everything I am doing in Nigeria today, America taught me. While living in America, I was a popular frequent radio guest of the most popular talk radio in the world then, Howard Stern show. I made massive fame and infamy from the show which is how I saw my 1st million dollars at a very early age. Then I was commanding up to $100k for personal appearances when people and corporations that advertise on his show invite me for an appearance. As I am talking to you, I am working on a talk radio which will debut soon. Talk Radio is the most powerful tool on earth. EVEN more powerful than TV because in radio talk, you have at least 3 hours to convince people of anything and to share your opinion on various issue unhurriedly. Television is not far behind. But let me 1st get my radio talk show going 1st.

PUBLIC RELATIONS, my own unique style. I direct a company (L'Afrique Brand Handlers Limited) that manages people and corporations. I learned this act when I joined a friend of mine who was part of the team managing the guber campaign of Jeb Bush in Florida in early 2000. I was at one of their meetings, and I just chipped in one or two ideas and they ran with it. It worked like magic, I then became almost part of the team, as I was going from one campaign stop to another with them. I did a lot of powerful write ups online which stirred emotions towards Jeb. Then there was no Facebook o. I had a news website. It was called called newsdame. I posted the pro Jeb write-ups in newsdame, we also posted it in newspapers as letters, but if they did not want it as letters, we paid for it. Today I am doing that for my PR clients but it a more reloaded style.

PHOTOGRAPHY: I am a photo junkie. This is in my blood. I started posing for photos when I was 2 years old. When you see me in my village at 2 to 3 years old doing poses for photos and doing it well you go no say there is war in the front. And no be small war. As far as I am concerned, if there is no photo of an outfit, IT DOES NOT EXIST. That outfit is nil and void. Throw it away because it does not, and I repeat, it does not exist, it has never been made. That is how I feel lol. So In America my photo taking took another turn for the worse, when I turned 20 I hired a butler who was also a personal photographer. And he loved taking photos so it was just partnership made in heaven.

Oh well now I am making a very good living in Nigeria as a photographer too. My style of photography is unique because what I want to convey in each photo I take of my client is in my head and cannot even be conveyed verbally, therefore even my own workers cannot get that job done the manner I will because only my head knows what I want once the camera is in my hand and I am looking at my subject. The way I treat my own personal pictures is how I treat those of my clients'. I cannot take photos and just post/show them. I can spend hours making sure a photograph is looking very good and still appear in its natural form. Anything photography is my forte because I love it and love it, it is part of life to me. Turn your likes and hobbies into carriers you will enjoy it even more. Because you are getting paid to do what you love doing. Though it is not an easy job especially the part about editing the photos. And some times I spend up to 15 hours or more standing during one of my photo jobs. But it is worth the efforts.

MUSIC: In America, I once had a hit dance single. I did a short stint with music there. I had too many avenues of making mula so I never really cooled down and got into this one. I will soon debut my single here in Naija. I am a natural performer so it is only right that I showcase what cost me nothing to acquire, what God endowed on me.

FASHION HOUSE: I was the 1st black to own a shop in the famous worth avenue of Palm Beach Florida, USA, then. I worked with major fashion houses to bring the best to my discerning clients. The shop was called Uzo Couture. Palm beach clients are the types that can walk into a store and spend a million dollars at a swoop. So one had to know her fashion onion to handle them.

The one material I love more than any material on earth is WAX. In 2004 when I visited Nigeria, I hired a tailor to use wax/ankara to do some creative clothes for me. This girl turned out to be one of the greatest tailor I have ever encountered in my life. Her name is Ebere. She is not human when it comes to tailoring, she is like a spirit. Her talent must be inborn because I have never seen such a thing in my entire 44 years of living. I took her back to my hometown, Afikpo, she stayed with me for years there. While there we were there, we introduced wax to the ladies and they were now shunning laces and expensive materials for wax. Imagine a situation where ladies in my hometown in 2004, 2005 where bringing out 15k and up for a wax skirt and blouse. Then Nigerian girls did not wear wax, it was basically a burial thing. But we gave them something stunning with wax, wax handbags, wax shoes, wax evening wear, etc. It was out of this world and we were making mula. Some LADIES THAT DO LUNCH, you know, CONNECTIONZ LADIES in Abuja got a wind of us and we started sowing for them. The Abuja people we charged double lol. Na oil mula nah. BREAKING NEWS, EBERE AND NWANYI AFIKPO are back in the fashion arena like a bad back. My flagship fashion shop opens soon. Date, location etc to be posted later. Ebere will be the Creative Director.

INTERNET: I was among those who pioneered internet in America. I migrated to the US in 1989 and got into computer the same year. And since then my whole life has revolved around it. We started online chat in America, in those days we were limited to what was known then as prodigy and aol and a few other services that are now extinct. The most popular online chat room in America then was the chat room of America's biggest DJ then, Howard Stern. Fans of stern basically lived online in his chat room where we discussed the show and everything under the sun daily. It was just our life. Oh my youth. That was then. From there I learned web designing and was doing websites for people and companies then got into starts up during the internet boom days of mid 90s. I also specialized then in buying and reselling .com names; when .com names had serious value. From there moved to News dissemination. That is why being online almost 24/7 working is a piece of cake to me because no be today e start.

It was only natural that I put my news dissemination to work in Nigeria when I created Ndi Igbo page in 2009. A 1st of its kind then. It gave birth to Igboism online, it gave birth to other news pages on FB. A whole lot of things you see on Nigerian Facebook was pioneered by Ndi Igbo page. We started a lot. No matter where I make most of my income from in Nigeria, I will never relegate the page to the background because this page gave me the start I needed in Nigeria. Though Facebook is really showing pages pepper as they recently stopped showing posts to as many LIKERS of page unless you pay for it and even at that, they still restrict it to a few numbers. We will always hang in there. I tell my workers, never ever neglect this page because whatever I become in Nigeria, this page will take most of the credit.

Bottom line, make maximum use of whatever you know how to do and do it extremely well with a dedicated zeal.

WOMAN!!!! It is not easy being a woman in Nigeria. You are relegated to the background at all times. But you can surmount everything surmountable via your talent. I find myself to be the only woman in most places I go to because of whatever job I am doing at that time. You must learn the act of working hard and also learn to let go of a need to look hot or great at all times. Let there be time for everything. When it comes to work, be dedicated and wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Listen it takes less than 10 minutes for a woman to look HOT, so what is the hurry? When you are done with your job, go into your closet and come out looking smashing to wherever else you want to go. To look hot is easy but to make meaningful achievements is not, so pay more attention to the latter. What your clients cares about is result. They do not even care how you look at all. They will not chase you. You wish! They will not. Prominent men are very wise, they do not chase women who do certain jobs for them. Because it is not in their best interest. At all. That said, be the type of woman that men needs and this can be achieved via your talent. Whatever you are good at, do it very well and people will come a calling. Never depend on your body to make anything significant. It can never work. If you want to see a bit or some of the kind of money men see, then you must activate your brain and use it to the fullest. There is no getting around it. You have an added advantage, most fields are dominated by men, so if you get in one of those fields, you will put a unique spin to it and will wow many. Do not give up. It is a man's world, most especially in Nigeria, just find or create a niche and truck on.

When you see me with prominent men, I am on a job. I am just working. I am nothing but a boy-boy to them. They are not my friend, they seldom chat with me, they are not close to me. It is purely master-servant relationship. I am serving them. I am just doing my job. Once you are hired by these men, it becomes a worker/boss relationship and there are clear boundaries. In some cases, If you contact me to introduce you to them for whatever reason, I might not be able to do that as It might seem like I'm crossing a boundary. Some clients are easier to work with but some are very difficult, you must learn to manage both, life is not a bed of rose. In the long run, it is worth it all.

TIPS:
. Try and cultivate the type of talent that you can't be disengaged anyhow. Be so good at what you do that you will be needed around to do it. But please do not be pompous about it. Continue to be very humble and grateful that someone appreciates what you have to offer and is paying you well for it. Do your best in terms of the way you relate to others so that even if they fire you for any reason, you walk out with your head held high knowing fully well that whatever you provided for them can not be replicated. And that you did your best. You must always make sure that you are doing the right things. Human relations is very important. No matter how talented you are, if you have a bad attitude it is a big turn off. I personally will fire your arse if you have an attitude problem. If you have this air that you are this and that, you will be gone in a flash. Take your talent and eat it, I say. Try and always watch it. Don't let your talent go to your head. Your talent without the right people to appreciate and pay you for it will spell disaster to you. So please always get along with others in the organization and carry yourself well. Respect others, greet people properly and do to others what you would like done to you. With this you have covered all the bases, if wahala come, you should comfortably handle it without stress. And if you are fired for any reason, you won't even feel it as it will free you to do other things.

. Do not ever say anyone is jealous or envious of you. Listen, life is not always fair as you know. And when you are in any work place or organization, you will always have those that will antagonize you. That is as normal as breathing. And if you are doing very well at what you do and the principal is happy with your effort, it might actually have some feeling uncomfortable with it. Whatever whatever, to say someone is jealous or envious of you is very pompous and arrogant. Who are you please? It is primitive. Do not utter such words. Face your PRINCIPAL and not side talks and innuendos. Until your principal lets you know of an issue simply assume everything is okay. Do not get yourself involved in work politics with anyone. Be it with the family members of the client, his aides or other workers.

. BE GENEROUS: I am a world renowned giver. I love dashing people cash and things. It is in my blood. I cannot help it. That smile and happiness it brings to them inturn makes me happy. You cannot even tell when I have and when I do not have if you go by how I dash money out. Most times I am dashing my last card at that time. No, do not give as madly as me but try your best to share your goodies with others. Do not wait until you acquire as much as you can before you give to others. Because you might never get to a point where you will feel that you have acquired enough. You are being blessed, take a small percentage of that and bless others without expectations. It will a lot to your life and you will actually never lack.

. APOLOGY WITHOUT BUT: This should applies in every facet of life. When you err, please apologize without excuses and buts. Any apology laced with buts and reasons is dead on arrival. One thing I do not do is tell someone I am sorry with a but and excuses. I will simply say I AM SORRY, the next sentence will be either be forgive me or it won't happen again. Practice it because you will need this in any field you are in. The magic of I am sorry without buts cannot be understated. It rights everything. Once you say you are sorry, there is not much that can be done about your offence. It is very soothing act. But please when you say that you are sorry about an action also mean it. Do not repeat the same act again please. NEVER EVER BE TOO PROUD TO APOLOGIZE. You have more to gain by humbling yourself and saying I am sorry when you err. And please do not assume you must be completely wrong to apologize, use your number 6 and deduct when an apology from you will turn an ugly situation around and make it beautiful. Then put your ego aside and apologize. No matter who is really at fault.

. DO NOT INFLATE COSTS: If you are asked to give a proposal for anything, do not inflate the costs of the goods required for the job. No it is completely unnecessary for you to do that do. Such can easily be verified, mind you. You will end up putting yourself in a very bad situation if the truth is found out. Rather, put whatever cost you want in your service charge. Talent and creativity has no price tag, you make it up as you go. You dictate the worth of your handwork and it is up to the client or potential client to pay or not pay.

But if the person that is giving you the job asks you to inflate the cost for reasons best known to him, oh boy, better ask him by how much and do just that. If you are religious na you sabi how you go do am. lol. Me I na 1st option. I must confess I have inflated stuff because the person in charge specifically said to do so. I hope to stop when i became a born-again.

. NO EXCUSES: Your boss/client wants results not reasons. Please stop making excuses and produce results. If you have to stand on your head and produce the results, by all means, do just that. But do not come up with 21 reasons and breaking news excuses. DO NOT! It will spell doom for your career.

. Do not talk back at your boss under no circumstance. Simple as ABC. Even if he/she is wrong, be still and calm. Always show respect to him no matter what.

Surviving in Nigeria is no walk in the park but it can be done. Your attitude and talent alone can soar you to any height possible. I wish you the best in your endeavors.

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BCEL - best chic ever liveth,
AFIKPO CHIC.

Afikpo Chic Blog.

http://afikpochic.blogspot.com/

1 comment :

  1. This is one of the best piece I have ever read. Much love Ezenwayi. weldone.

    ReplyDelete

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